The American Dream

As usual, I was listening to NPR this morning and something caught my attention. Apparently, the President is going to deliver a eulogy for the West Virginia miners who died in a coal mining “accident” recently in one of Massey’s mines. No, I’m not going to rant about coal mining. I love a coal mining engineer and think that all coal mining (whether digging tunnels in the ground or blowing off the tops of mountains) should end. I personally see nothing good about coal. That’s another post…..maybe. What caught my attention was that the President will say, “These miners lived -- as they died -- in pursuit of the American dream."

The American Dream: it is used as if it is an absolute. It is what unites our nation. It is what every single American lives their life in pursuit of. It is what ALL of us want and, if George Bush was right (not likely), why non-Americans hate us. What exactly IS The American Dream? Why is it that only American’s want this particular dream? Is it possible that there is really ONE thing – or specific group of things - that all Americans, exclusively, dream of, agree upon, desire? Or is it just another fairy tale like “happily ever after” or that every little girl has a Prince Charming for her or that life was idyllic for everyone in the 1950s (except for maybe women and people of color – but They don’t really count anyway, at least not for the guys in power who write/verbalize our collective history)?

In his eulogy, the President is reported to define the American Dream for the men who died as, "All the hard work. All the hardship. All the time spent underground. It was all for their families. For a car in the driveway. For a roof overhead. For a chance to give their kids opportunities they never knew; and enjoy retirement with their wives." Were all of them married? Did all of them even have a driveway? Did all of them have kids or even want to have kids? How many of them even thought they would live long enough to retire?

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me and gross generalizations simply push one of my many buttons. Maybe I’m more about specifics instead of simplification. Do statements like these bother anyone else? Am I all alone in this? Maybe it’s just that I’m fat and, therefore, can more easily recognize that we don’t live in a “one size fits all” world. It isn’t just this American Dream idea, but all of the gross generalizations that permeate our world, from daily conversations with friends or co-workers to news reports. Phrases like ALL people, ALL Americans, ALL Republicans/Democrats/Tea Partiers/Environmentalists, ALL women/men/people of color, ALL Christians/Jews/Muslims, etc. say to me that specific groups can be categorized easily, which I don’t believe to be true. Of course, I could be wrong or completely off track and/or naïve (of which, I’ve been accused by the coal mining engineer). Then again, maybe it is simply genetic memory. Prey animals need to instantly recognize predators to avoid being eaten. Predators need to quickly recognize prey to avoid starvation. Maybe it all comes down to: eat or be eaten. If that is the case, can I opt out? I would prefer to believe that at least some of us have evolved past that. What I do know is that, as opposed to when I was in my 20s and knew Everything, now I have many more questions than answers.

Really nothing exciting to share………………..

I really do live a very boring, drab and routine life. I live in the Land of Perpetual Litter Box Cleaning as well as a seemingly 24/7 Laundromat and Discarded Cat & Dog Hair Removal Service.

I went back to work last week after really enjoying my week off (? – that’s debatable to some of my friends – it was actually a week off from paid work, not unpaid LIFE work). Don’t let anyone convince you that the recession is over. Working for a nonprofit, it’s quite obvious that folks just don’t have the disposable income to donate like they did just over 2 years ago. It’s slow at work, with not as many phone calls coming in and the incoming mail diminishing as the year progresses. I can’t even imagine what it’s going to be like during our traditional slow season – the summer months. I realize that there are a lot of really good “causes” out there but it’s saddening, especially at this time. Last year was the worst year on record for the number of manatees who died in Florida’s waterways. With Florida’s extended winter season this year, the number of manatee deaths reported has already surpassed all those from 2009. I don’t even want to think what the final numbers will be by the end of this year. While more and more groups have jumped on the manatee bandwagon in recent years, it still remains a FACT that Save the Manatee Club is the only organization working day in and day out to protect this precious, endangered species. The Club has a small, hardworking staff, along with a very small annual budget (compared to well known groups with from tens to hundreds of millions of dollars in their budget ). Even after nearly 17 years at the Club, it still amazes me how much the Club has accomplished in nearly 30 years of effort dedicated to manatee protection. To find out more about manatees and Save the Manatee Club, visit http://www.savethemanatee.org/.

I honestly wanted to rant about something, but I just can’t seem to get really riled up about anything. There certainly isn’t an absence of crazy people in the news lately that are worthy of ranting about (Newt Gingrich calling the President a secular socialist; Glenn Beck joining PETA; and John McCain announcing he NEVER considered himself a maverick – ‘nuff said). Am I getting mellow in my old age? Am I becoming used to the lunacy that permeates the media? Do I just not give a darn or am I going through a down cycle? Check back later to see if this worm has turned.

Any Designing Women fans out there? I adored that show and never missed it. Of course, being prone to get on my soapbox and share my opinions (normally), Julia Sugarbaker rocked my world. I was known to cheer and clap when she went off on someone or something. Dixie Carter played Julia brilliantly. Ms. Carter died yesterday at the age of only 70. She leaves behind 2 daughters and her wonderful, equally brilliant and talented husband, Hal Holbrook. I loved seeing the two of them together, whether as themselves or working together. When LOVE works, it’s a sight to behold.

To wrap up, some recommendations for my current favorite television shows. CHUCK is on Monday nights at 8PM. I’ve loved, loved, loved this show since its debut. Zach Levy, who plays Chuck, is totally adorable, funny and charming. IN PLAIN SIGHT has recently returned to the air with new episodes on Wednesdays at 10PM. It’s about the witness protection program and is set in Albuquerque, New Mexico. The lead character, Mary, can be caustic and difficult, but I LOVE her. I like a good dose of sarcasm and snark whenever I can get it – especially from a smart, strong woman. Also on Monday night (at 10PM) is CASTLE, starring the lovely, funny and marvelous Nathan Fillion (Captain Tightpants to the Firefly fans out there). Great show, watch it. Sunday nights from 8 – 10PM, LIFE is on the Discovery Channel. It’s from the same filmmakers who did Planet Earth. The cinematography is incredible and the science is accessible to everyone. Maybe if everyone knew more about the rest of the amazing species we SHARE this planet with, they would treat OUR HOME with more respect and place more value on the amazing assortment of lives surrounding us. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone treated every day as Earth Day? And, finally, BONES which is on at 8PM Thursday night on Fox. They have just aired their 100th episode, and the show is in syndication on TNT nearly every weeknight. It’s a smart and witty show, with a great cast that includes three very intelligent and strong female characters, along with David Boreanaz (of Buffy and Angel fame).

SAYING GOODBYE TO UNREASONABLE EXPECTATIONS

One final vacation day remaining and there are still EIGHTEEN tasks on my To Do List that I haven’t done. I haven’t even touched those 18. I knew going in that my expectations exceeded my abilities, but I chose to set the bar high in hopes of spurring me into action.

In the past, I would schedule vacation time off and make a list in my head. This time I wrote down what I hoped to accomplish. Even though there is still a mountain of work to do, this time I don’t feel like a failure. Yes, I spent way too much time on the computer and the internet. Several mornings, I just couldn’t get going. But this time it was different because I focused on what I have accomplished. I wrote down what I did daily. Some of it probably didn’t belong on the list, but considering just how much there is to be done I needed the positive reinforcement. I want to stop beating myself up.

My mother has been dead for about 15 years. For whatever reason, she always made me feel as if I was never good enough. No matter what I managed to accomplish, she rarely failed to point out what I didn’t do and/or what I did wrong. Since her death, I have taken on that responsibility for her. I figure it’s time to celebrate what I have managed to do, to cut myself some slack. After all, I am 60 years old, have serious problems with my spine, suffer from diabetes and hypertension, am about 100 pounds overweight and suffer from nearly constant numbness in my fingers. I’ve broken my left ankle twice and my right ankle once, along with having broken my left tibia and have a torn meniscus in my left knee. Pain is pretty much my constant companion. Adding to all of that, I am my sole support and have 30 cats and 3 elderly dogs in my home to care for and clean up after. No kids, no family and no safety net to keep my life on track. Oh, and my house is nearly the same age I am and in need of a lot of work. Not that I’m whining. Compared to so many others, I am truly fortunate.

I’ve been in this house for nearly 30 years. I’m a pack rat. I am not, and do not aspire to be, Martha Stewart. Hell, she has a staff and she only shows “us” what she wants us to see. Everyone has warts, bad days and shortcomings. Life is about acknowledging those, working with or around them and whatever obstacles we either encounter or create and try to do our best. After all this time, I am still a work in progress. I can do better, I can make changes and I can create better habits. But, sometimes, it is okay to just take credit for trying, for small accomplishments and a job well done. My goal is to rid myself of all of the unnecessary stuff, whether it’s tangible, emotional or psychological. So, I think I’m going to add “exorcised some of my demons” to my list of accomplishments during this most recent vacation.

Sleeping with Cats

Philosophers and theologians have spent centuries asking the question, "What is the meaning of life?"  I don't think that's really the most important, nor relevant, question they or any of us should be asking.  The question that often keeps me awake at night is:  "why do cats always sleep on your chest with their butts in your face?"

I may be exaggerating a bit here.  They don't always do it.  Sometimes they drape their bodies across my mouth so that my lips and tongue are covered in cat hair.  The added bonus?  Generally, since now I must now breathe through my nose, I am breathing in cat hair as well.  Cats aren't stupid.  They know that I'm the bringer of food.  Do they not understand that breathing is necessary for me to be able to keep bringing them food?  They seem to have figured out pretty much everything else:  watching TV is a waste of time, why move furniture when it's fine where it is, getting put into a cat carrier means one thing - road trip to the vet, if I tangle myself up in her legs she will bend down and pick me up, naps are important as is good grooming.  Do you ever see a cat lying with their butt in another cat's face?  NO!  Do they cover another cat's face when they curl up to sleep?  NO!  They obviously like it when I lie down.  In fact, you would think I was covered in catnip.  Cats I haven't seen all day suddenly appear and proceed to plant themselves as close to my face as they can manage.  In fact, there is almost a stampede to get there first and get a front row seat.  Before they settle down, there is usually some jostling for position, a couple of slaps along with some hisses and growls. 

So this universal riddle troubled my mind last night as I tried to fall asleep with four cat butts in my face.  I realized that maybe we should consider changing the clothing size chart.  What size are you?  I'm a size 4.....because I can easily fit four average size cats between my left and right shoulders.   I finally drifted off to sleep, cozy and warm with my energy efficient, off the grid bed warmers. 

Here are a couple of the cuddlers/culprits:

Too Much Stuff

My home has surpassed Clutter (approaching disaster is probably a better description)! I haven’t reached the point where I am about to nominate myself to appear on the Hoarders TV show, but…………………

So, I have taken 6 vacation days with the intent of organizing, cleaning, decluttering, achieving calm, peace and an end to embarrassment if someone comes into my home. This time I made a list of my priorities. No longer would I spend most of my vacation days on the computer and/or watching TV shows that I had seen at least 4 times before. I had a plan. I knew what I was going to tackle. I knew it would be a big job, but I was ready. No doubt you’ve heard that before. I know that I have. As Robert Burns so aptly said, “the best laid schemes of mice and men often go awry.”

Today was day 5 of 10: I spent nearly the entire day cleaning the four filters of the central air conditioning unit and the return space below, plus the air purifier that I keep in the cats’ room. It’s not that those are big jobs, they were just really dirty. What an amazing amount of cat and dog hair and just plain dirt had accumulated. Hours upon hours of work that no one but I will notice and something that will have to be done over and over and over and over again. My normal reaction when other people scoff at the idea of living with a cat or a dog is anger. Maybe “those people” are smarter than I thought they were.

So, my house after 5 days of vacation is still a wreck because I’ve spent most of the time doing the everyday stuff like washing clothes, cleaning litterboxes and dealing with the unexpected, instead of tackling my To Do list. Yesterday I decided to clean a few of the exposed ceramic floor tiles in the dining room/den. However, when I pushed the large rug back, lo and behold the cats had peed/barfed on the rug and the floor underneath was even worse than the exposed portion. The rug wasn’t worth trying to clean, so I had to move bins, furniture, etc to pull up the rug and carry it outside for the trash. That wasn’t on the list. And the tiles – NASTY, NASTY, NASTY. So I cleaned them by hand (mops and scrub brushes haven’t worked before), one by one. The floor looks great. The rest of the house – not so much. The hard work noticeable to the general public? Not really. Are the dogs and cats impressed? Not at all. But, I like it and can now add handwashing the tiles to another repetitive task to be done. I am feeling quite a bit like Sisyphus……….that darn rock never reaches the top and keeps rolling back down to the bottom of the mountain. At least at 60 years old, eternity doesn’t seem all that far away.

So, tomorrow I’m taking a day off and going to a matinee. Before that, I plan to clean the bathroom. After the movie, I’m donating 12 years of National Geographic magazines to A Gift for Teaching so teachers and students can use them. At least something will be permanently leaving the house and be put to good use. And after that, a trip to the chiropractor so that I can continue to abuse my body as I clean, lift, move and rearrange all the stuff I’ve accumulated for low these many, many years.
To be continued………………………………..

Women CAN do anything!

I was born in 1950, just a few short years after the end of World War II, and part of the Baby Boomer generation. My father fought in Europe during the Second World War and my mother worked building airplanes for the military in the repurposed National Cash Register plant in Dayton, Ohio. (Anyone remember the Rosie the Riveter posters?) My mother worked full time while raising my older brother who had been born in 1939. During the war, Americans were subjected to rationing and were issued coupon books to purchase everyday items like toilet paper and food. Americans recycled for the war effort (too bad we’re not encouraged to do the same to SAVE THE PLANET!).

As a young girl, there weren’t many female role models for me. Women and their accomplishments were pretty much absent from the history we were taught in school. I didn’t learn about women’s struggle for the right to vote until I went to college, and that was thanks to the rebirth of the Feminist Movement. In celebration of Women’s History Month (wow we get a WHOLE month, instead of every day of every year), I want to share the story of the WASPs, which received coverage on NPR recently. On Wednesday, the Federal government finally recognized (acknowledged?) the contribution of these women during World War II. The few WASPs who are still alive received the Congressional Gold Medal on Wednesday in Washington, D.C. Follow these links to find out more about them and to view some very rare color photographs taken by Lillian Yonally while serving as a WASP: http://www.npr.org/blogs/pictureshow/2010/03/a_contraband_camera_photos_of.html and

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=123773525&ps=cprs

It’s been a great year for women already. It only took 65 years for these trailblazing women to be honored and recognized for their service to America and only 82 years for a woman to receive the Best Director Academy Award. Maybe within the next 100 years ALL of the accomplishments of women will gain recognition as well. In the meantime, celebrate women because we can, in fact, DO ANYTHING! When in doubt remember this great quote: “Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, except she did it backwards and in high heels.”

Reflections

I have a lot on my mind, but don’t’ know where to begin. I just had some email exchanges with someone who I have known longer anyone else. They began with exchanging birthday wishes and morphed into the habitual ideological clashes. He is as far right politically as I am far left. We met in October or November of 1968 at a campus bonfire in the very early days of Florida Technological University (now the University of Central Florida). He was from Kentucky, I was born in Ohio but grew up in Miami. He was a microbiology major and I was a math major (until I changed to zoology in my sophomore year). I started smoking when I realized my lifelong dream of being a mathematician wasn’t going to be a reality. Never thought of that connection before: my dreams up in smoke! That would be funny, if it wasn’t.


I have been reflecting on quite a bit since turning 60. I have attempted in the last week to stop smoking. Not doing so good. The patches really aren’t working this time. The side effects of Chantix scare me. I can’t really afford private hypnosis sessions. I’ve been vegetarian for over 20 years, although I’ve fallen off the wagon from time to time. I know that giving up dairy products and eggs is what I want to do. Like smoking, that’s not going so good either. Instead of taking better care of myself, my house and even my car, I choose to focus on everything “outside” of me. Whether it’s my job, my critters, or the world – it beats housework, cooking better meals, improving my health and fixing things around the house that need fixing. All too often it is easier to face the demons in the world than those within ourselves.

Seriously, if I am going to take action (quit smoking, exercise, lose weight, eat better and more ethically), time is running out. Clearly, at 60, there are fewer tomorrows to put this off to. Is there a Procrastinators Anonymous? Guess I’ll get back to the laundry and litterboxes…..with critters there is always laundry and litterboxes to do.

And if you care about the planet, please check out this article from The Nation: http://www.thenation.com/doc/20100322/hari