Saturday, July 30, 2011

Thank you Congress

I just wanted to thank the men and a few women who, in our nation’s capital, loyally represent the American people on a daily basis.  Your steadfast resolve to stand by your principles and prevent the debt ceiling from being raised ever higher is truly appreciated.  

Here's a list of only a few of the many things for which you deserve my thanks.    
  • Thank you for turning Americans into second class citizens in the world.  Maybe now we will be able to understand some of the problems people in lesser countries face day to day.  There are too many problems to list them all, but they include:
o   Homelessness 
o   Increased violence
o   Inadequate health care
o   Food and water shortages
o   Decreased longevity

·         Thank you for insuring that I’ll be fortunate enough to work until I reach 70 or 80 years old, or die.  Due to the collapse of our economy and crashing stock market, I no longer have much money in my retirement account, so I can’t possibly afford to retire.  

·         Thank you for insuring the stability of both Social Security and Medicare for future generations.  By forcing the majority of us baby boomers to continue working, it won’t be necessary to pay us the Social Security or Medicare that we contributed to throughout our working lives.

·         Thank you for finally putting an end to our overly consumptive society.  Since we have a smaller income or are dealing with higher prices for everyday staples, we have stopped buying all that unnecessary stuff that clogged our homes and the tens of thousands of storage facilities dotting our towns.  In fact, with empty storage facilities in abundance, maybe they can be used as low income housing for those of us who have lost our homes due to foreclosure brought on by predatory lenders and greedy investors who you were prescient enough to deregulate.

·         Thank you for teaching those of us in the lower 90% that there really is a class system in America.  It was obvious that we forgot our place – in the fields, in the factories, on the assembly line, or cleaning the mansions of the upper 10% of Americans.  

Finally, thank you for making it possible for most Americans to turn to vegetarian diets, thus saving the lives of millions of animals cruelly raised and slaughtered each year for food.  Since most of us can no longer afford to buy the flesh of these tortured animals we are, at long last, eating a healthier diet.

Your hard work on our behalf should be celebrated.  Unfortunately, due to our shortsightedness, you have been subjected to villainous name-calling, threats of retribution and ridicule.  I hope you will be able to forgive us for not understanding the great purpose for which you have fought long and hard.  Thank you for your deep and abiding concern for the well-being of every American, even if we didn’t contribute to your campaign war chests or PACs or even vote for you.  Our stupidity just illustrates how poor our public school systems are and supports your commitment to cut spending to this example of government’s mishandling of the educational system.  


  1. Ha! A true work of art! Those selfless folks in Washington... I actually saw a Canadian article that referred to the Tea Party as the Hezbollah wing of the Republican Party. I thought it was perfect!

    The pictures are fun aren't they? I generally just use Google picture search and don't worry too much about copyright. According to the digital millennium copyright laws, if someone feels you've infringed their copyright, it's up to them to ask you to take the image down. And it's only if you refuse to do so that they can pursue legal action.

  2. I've been calling the Republicans the American Taliban, especially since I don't think burkas and female genital mutilation is far behind all the other anti-woman legislation they are passing. They've been on an anti-abortion legislative feeding frenzy across the country since the Tea Partiers took office. And, is their call of "Christian Nation" really much different than countries ruled by Islamic Law? After all, Islam evolved from Christianity which, in turn, evolved from Judaism. Yahweh, God, Allah, he's all the same guy and women were an after thought and responsible for getting humans kicked out of the Garden of Eden, dontcha know?

  3. American Taliban... I love it!

    The whole thing reminds me of that Gandhi quote "Your Christians are so unlike you Christ."