Monday, September 2, 2013

Checking In

I am not the most graceful person on the planet.  Since my mid-20s I have slipped, tripped and fallen more times than I want to remember.  From my little toes, to my ankles, to my left leg and knee and on to my back, I have fractured, broken and otherwise permanently damaged myself.  On July 16th I lost my balance as I was bending over to pick up a piece of paper I had dropped on the floor.  I twisted and turned trying to prevent another fall.  Although I didn't hit the ground, I slammed the full force of my considerable weight into my desk, landing on my right shoulder.  I heard crunching and crackling sounds, leaving me to believe I had done some serious damage to the shoulder.   Of course, due to the other, older injuries having weakened other parts and pieces of my body, I realized my forthcoming pain would not be limited to my shoulder.  Today, a month and a half later, my shoulder, neck, back and left ankle are limiting my ability to do much of anything. 

After numerous visits to the local Urgent Care facility, I was finally approved for an MRI.  A few days later I finally had a diagnosis - small fracture in my upper humerus and a completely torn rotator cuff.  Since this is a workers' compensation claim, the treatment cycle plodded along.  I saw an orthopedic surgeon who set a date for surgery to re-attach the rotator cuff.  Originally it was scheduled for August 30th, but has since been moved to September 11th.  I had been relying on ibuprofen to control the pain and allow me to function.  Unfortunately, that medication had to be stopped two weeks before the surgery.  I am now relying on the last remaining Vicodin I have remaining.  I'm rationing them, taking only half a pill at a time. 

Frankly, I haven't been interested in either reading or writing much.  I have focused on working from home until this past week, when I went back into the office.  Driving for the first couple of weeks terrified me, plus it was painful.  I started the car with my left arm and changed gears that way as well.  I just didn't have the strength in my right arm to do either.  It was even difficult for the first few weeks fastening my seat belt. 

As in the past, when I was laid up, friends have trekked long distances to come to my home to scoop my litter boxes, help with laundry and drive me on my shopping errands.  I am so grateful for their kindness and feel that I can never repay them for both the moral and physical support they have provided to me. 

I apologize for "going dark" and not keeping you, my regular visitors, in the loop.  As in true cat fashion, I've sought a dark place in which to lick my wounds and give myself time to heal.  Most of the time I have been miserable, which tends to make one prefer isolation to sharing.  Additionally, I didn't think talking about this "phase" was an interesting topic for a blog post.  I can't even muster the desire nor strength for a righteous rant about the state of the world.  Focusing on myself has me bored.  I am so ready for all of this to be over with so that I can get back to the semblance of a normal life. 

I will do my best to provide something worth reading in the near future.  No promises with surgery, recovery and physical therapy in my future.  Hopefully progress will elevate my mood , moving me into a better space.


  1. Oh no, Connie, I'm so sorry! that's sounds really hard to deal with, more pain, and that surgery, on your shoulder, I hope it helps.

    1. Read your post this AM. Looks like you are in as much pain as I am. I certainly don't envy you the vertigo. A former employee has that & I thought she said it was due to damage to the inner ear - some part of the ear that controls balance. Imagine how klutzy I'd be if vertigo was added to the mix. I'd have to resort to crawling on my hands & knees.

  2. Oh NOES! Kitteh sez "DO NOT WANT!!!"

    Seriously, that just totally sucks. I have to say that I too seem to have inherited the klutz gene. I blame it on some combination of low blood pressure and my easily distracted nature. Five years ago I blew my knee out tripping over the garden hose.

    Anyhow, I'm sending you big hugs and lots of healing energy. I hope the surgery goes well and that you're out of pain soon!


    1. I blame my clumsiness on my father. He wouldn't let me take ballet lesson, ergo no gracefulness.

      Thanks - fingers crossed the well wishes will work their magic & get this over with rapidly and with little permanent damage. I'm considering dressing in layers of either bubble wrap or tires, like the Michelin Man.

    2. Ha! Well, apparently the bubble wrap look is "in" these days: