Checking In

I am not the most graceful person on the planet.  Since my mid-20s I have slipped, tripped and fallen more times than I want to remember.  From my little toes, to my ankles, to my left leg and knee and on to my back, I have fractured, broken and otherwise permanently damaged myself.  On July 16th I lost my balance as I was bending over to pick up a piece of paper I had dropped on the floor.  I twisted and turned trying to prevent another fall.  Although I didn't hit the ground, I slammed the full force of my considerable weight into my desk, landing on my right shoulder.  I heard crunching and crackling sounds, leaving me to believe I had done some serious damage to the shoulder.   Of course, due to the other, older injuries having weakened other parts and pieces of my body, I realized my forthcoming pain would not be limited to my shoulder.  Today, a month and a half later, my shoulder, neck, back and left ankle are limiting my ability to do much of anything. 

After numerous visits to the local Urgent Care facility, I was finally approved for an MRI.  A few days later I finally had a diagnosis - small fracture in my upper humerus and a completely torn rotator cuff.  Since this is a workers' compensation claim, the treatment cycle plodded along.  I saw an orthopedic surgeon who set a date for surgery to re-attach the rotator cuff.  Originally it was scheduled for August 30th, but has since been moved to September 11th.  I had been relying on ibuprofen to control the pain and allow me to function.  Unfortunately, that medication had to be stopped two weeks before the surgery.  I am now relying on the last remaining Vicodin I have remaining.  I'm rationing them, taking only half a pill at a time. 

Frankly, I haven't been interested in either reading or writing much.  I have focused on working from home until this past week, when I went back into the office.  Driving for the first couple of weeks terrified me, plus it was painful.  I started the car with my left arm and changed gears that way as well.  I just didn't have the strength in my right arm to do either.  It was even difficult for the first few weeks fastening my seat belt. 

As in the past, when I was laid up, friends have trekked long distances to come to my home to scoop my litter boxes, help with laundry and drive me on my shopping errands.  I am so grateful for their kindness and feel that I can never repay them for both the moral and physical support they have provided to me. 

I apologize for "going dark" and not keeping you, my regular visitors, in the loop.  As in true cat fashion, I've sought a dark place in which to lick my wounds and give myself time to heal.  Most of the time I have been miserable, which tends to make one prefer isolation to sharing.  Additionally, I didn't think talking about this "phase" was an interesting topic for a blog post.  I can't even muster the desire nor strength for a righteous rant about the state of the world.  Focusing on myself has me bored.  I am so ready for all of this to be over with so that I can get back to the semblance of a normal life. 

I will do my best to provide something worth reading in the near future.  No promises with surgery, recovery and physical therapy in my future.  Hopefully progress will elevate my mood , moving me into a better space.