DECEMBER, 2009 – JANUARY 9, 2013

       The last couple of years have been a bit difficult for me.

1. DECEMBER, 2009 – Caleb has tumor removed from his intestine
2. JANUARY 1, 2010      – went into hospital due to a cat bite on my foot
3. FEBRUARY 25, 2010 – Clark euthanized (11 years old)
4. MARCH 19, 2010 – Charlotte euthanized (9 years old)
5. JULY 30, 2010 – Cammie euthanized (15 years old)
6. AUGUST – SEPTEMBER, 2010 – me back in hospital for 5 surgeries, including a skin graft
7. DECEMBER 10, 2010 – Chase found dead (7 years old)
8. FEBRUARY 12, 2011 – Chaz euthanized (12 years old)
9. MARCH 11, 2011 – Colin euthanized (rescued from the street 1998 – adult cat)
10. APRIL 22, 2011  - Caleb euthanized (15 years old DOG)
11. MAY 21, 2011 – Cagney rescued from the street
12. JUNE 14, 2011 – Charlie euthanized (12 years old)
13. JUNE 24, 2011 – Cissy euthanized (16 years old)
14. NOVEMBER 11, 2011 – Claudia euthanized (rescued from Animal Services 2005 – older cat)
15. NOVEMBER 28, 2011 – Campbell has all teeth removed
16. DECEMBER 12, 2011 – Colt euthanized (8 years old)
17. JANUARY 12, 2012 – Courtney euthanized (13 years old)
18. FEBRUARY 16, 2012 – Cordelia euthanized (14 years old DOG)
19. FEBRUARY, 2012 – Cashew (kitten) + Contessa (about 1 year old) rescued from street
20. JUNE 29, 2012 - Chandler euthanized (13 years old)
21. AUGUST 2, 2012 – Crockett had all his teeth removed
22. JANUARY 9, 2013 – Cassandra having surgery to remove all of her teeth

Prior to having to put so many of these cats and dogs to sleep, there were extensive veterinary bills for treatment in an effort to save or, at least, prolong their lives.  It's not just about "pocketbook" issues but also the emotional distress that goes along with dealing with watching so many cherished loved ones die.  

While I know that most, if not all, of these animals would have died long before had I not brought them into my home, my life and my heart, it stills takes a toll.  My own health struggles helped erode my coping skills as well.  These were choices which I made and, therefore, are mine alone to bear.  

My apologies to friends if I've been more short tempered or less communicative in the past couple of years.  It's not always easy to exude sunshine and roses through personal trials and tribulations.  

Cagney at 7 months

I've been mulling over various political entries, but I just can't pick a topic.  Way too many to rage against at this point in time.  So I decided to take the easy way out and post the latest pictures of the littlest cat in the house, who has decided she is independent and in charge.  So, for your viewing pleasure, here is the Monster-In-Charge:

 
She weighs just over 6 pounds now.  When I snatched her off the street, she was just over 2 pounds.  Here's an early picture of her for contrast:

Checking in

No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth.  I have been extraordinarily tired lately.  By the time I get home from work, wash the critters' dishes, feed the hungry herd and then tackle the rest of the herd in the cat room, I'm 15 minutes from passing out on the couch.  Even with extra vitamin D3 pills daily, my internal battery has lost its juice.

Some good things:

• The Big Bang Theory is FINALLY in syndication.  Yay!  I get to watch all those episodes I missed when the show started.  
• Terra Nova debuted.  DINOSAURS & Jason O'Mara, oh my.  O'Mara was the creepiest villain on The Closer.  He's nice to look at - but I REALLY like the dinosaurs.
• Had a wonderful lunch with my amazing friend Candy S today.  Garden Cafe - delicious food, interesting company/conversation.  Thanks again for the lunch, Candy.
• There has been a change of seasons (temporarily, no doubt) in sunny Florida.  I opened the front door and a few windows this AM, much to the delight of the cats.  Turned off the A/C for a few hours.  It's a GOOD THING!
• A friend & fellow cat rescuer has stepped up to help me get the no longer little Cagney spayed at a much reduced rate.  (Our local animal services clinic has temporarily stopped public appointments for cats & dogs.  Their new veterinarian is fresh out of school and not able to handle the volume that previous seasoned vets were able to do - that is definitely NOT a good thing.  It means even more homeless, unwanted animals will end up at the shelter sooner or later and neither animal services nor the local SPCA are No-Kill facilities).

Some possibly good things:

• Claudia seems to be responding to this herbal/holistic med KIDNI FLOW.  Two puddles without any blood in them.  It could be my imagination, but she seems to be feeling a bit better too.  I'm sure she was experiencing some pain with this bladder problem.  Please keep your fingers crossed that this stuff will work & clear up Claudia's bladder problem.
• Colt's eosiniphilic granuloma on his lip has healed.  
• The On agan, Off agan washer & dryer have mostly been On again.

On the political front:

• Our political system is so screwed up that my ranting is much like Don Quixote tilting at windmills.  I just don't have the energy to get upset - or at least not lately.  Bernie Sanders seems to be the only voice of reason in Washington.  The rest of those guys are nothing more than scam artists.  Instead of promising to make us rich with their investment schemes, they are scamming most Americans into believing their latest hair-brained idea will improve our collective futures, when the only future they are interested in IS THEIRS.  Move along fellows, I'm not buying.

It's time to finish the laundry, mop the kitchen & bathroom floors and start the buffet for that perpetually hungry horde of mine.

Keep in touch.

A year later

I've been home from the major hospital stay for nearly a year.  The follow-up, post hospital, has been a very bumpy ride.  Chase, Chaz, Colin, Charlie, Cissy & Caleb - gone, but not forgotten.  My half sized right breast finally completely healed, after a very painful skin graft & 13 derma grafts.  Of course, the aftermath is a scarred, nasty looking thing - but I'm the only one that has to look at it, so it really doesn't matter. 

The worst part is that the extended change of routine has left me unable & unwilling to get back on the treadmill of life.  I'm still in first gear, with little to no motivation to even attempt second gear.  I'm feeling my age.  I've come face to face with my own mortality.  Things just look different from this new perspective.  And, I'm flatout tired all of the time.  Fewer things carry much importance.  It's a struggle to get going in the morning.  I don't look forward to a heck of a lot.  I've restricted my life even more and prefer to stay home than go anywhere or do anything.  I'm not sad, just tired and not motivated.  Que sera, sera.  I guess Doris Day was right. 

Claudia's hyperthyroidism seems to be under control.  That's good, but she has blood in her urine and antibiotics haven't helped.  Colt has been losing weight, so he went to the vet this week.  He has hyperthyroidism as well, just not as bad as Claudia's was to begin with.  He also has an eosinophilic granuloma on the inside of his upper left lip.  Steroid shot & thyroid medicine for him. 

Oh, and I tore up my dishwasher months ago.  My washer & dryer work when they feel like it & I need 4 new tires for the CRV.  And, it would be a big help if I could just win the lottery.  If anyone reading this is psychic, please send me the winning lottery numbers.  I'm more than willing to share the jackpot with you. 

With any luck, I'll get back on track and work through this living in slow motion condition.  I wonder if this is what PTSD feels like.  After all, for nearly 2 years I've dealt with an unbelievable amount of personal tragedy.  In addition to 2 hospitalizations in a single year, the loss of 8 cats and 1 dog since February, 2010 has been devastating.  The brightest spot in all of this:  Cagney (the Hell on Wheels kitten).  Rarely does a day go by that she doesn't make me smile and/or laugh.  This kitten, who surely would have died had I not managed to get her trapped when I did, has a personality the size of the state of Alaska.  She's fearless, funny, acrobatic and delightful.  Life is new to her and she reminds me that life can be interesting and fun.  For the time being I'll remain an observer, witnessing it through her eyes. 

THE TRUTH ABOUT KITTENS… or what my kitten, Cagney, has taught me

1.       RULE #1 – if it moves grab it or pounce on it

2.       Cats have tails for kittens to play with

3.       Everything is a potential toy

4.       It’s possible to squeeze under anything

5.       It’s imperative to squeeze under everything

6.       If kittens have an OFF button, it isn’t easy to find

7.       It’s the job of a kitten to inspect EVERYTHING

8.       Nothing is off limits to a kitten

9.       The universe, as they know it, revolves around a kitten

10.   A kitten is the most adorable and precious thing in existence

Charlie, Cissy & Cagney……and HAIR

I finally decided it was time to let Charlie go.  I took him to my vet on Monday, June 13^th and put him down.  He and I had struggled off and on since May, 2010 with his drastic weight loss.  All of the recriminations were and are there.  It’s tough, but rarely have I lost one of my critters and not questioned myself and what I could have done better.  Losing them brings me face to face with the fact that I do not have all of the answers, I do not have super powers and DEATH is a fact of life.  Death is too powerful an adversary for any of us.  We may win some victories, but we can’t win in the end.  Even though it is inevitable that Death always has the final victory, I will continue to fight for as much time as I can salvage.  I did that with Cissy.  I took her to the vet on Tuesday, June 14^th and again on Thursday, June 16^th, prepared to put her down.  My guilty conscience over not giving her as much attention as I should have while treating Charlie overruled all else.  I tried treating her chronic renal failure and for a few days, she responded, but by Friday,  June 24^th it was obvious she was not going to make it.  I had her put down Friday morning. 

In between this, on Wednesday morning, June 22^nd, Cagney the new kitten, wasn’t able to walk on her left front leg.  She was lethargic and not eating.  She was very hot to the touch, so I knew she had a fever.  I took her to the vet early Wednesday morning and her temp was nearly 105 degrees.  Normal for a cat is between 101 & 102.  Although she had her first vaccine about 2 ½ weeks earlier, I felt certain she had limping kitten syndrome from calicivirus.  Calici is hard to eradicate in a multi-cat household.  It first appeared here in 1999 after bringing kittens home from surgery at animal services.  One kitten, Chaz, presented with symptoms.  He didn’t get sick with it, but Clark, Charlise and Catherine got deathly ill from it.  My vet pulled them through, but the ramifications from this disease caused a plague of plasma cell stomatitis to hit my cats, who included Chase, Carly, Bob, Charlie, Chaz, Colt and Courtney.  All of them had most or all of their teeth removed.  Of those cats only Bob, Colt and Courtney are still with me.  I have also lost Clark and Catherine in the past few years.  Needless to say, I was seriously concerned about little Cagney. 

Limping kitten syndrome was seen several years ago and was attributed to vaccinations.  Most kittens showed symptoms within 48 – 72 hours following their vaccination.  They limped, had inflamed joints and fevers.  In many cases, the symptoms went away within a few days.  Since Cagney’s vaccination was over 2 weeks earlier, my fear was she had contracted calici from a carrier in the house and her recovery wouldn’t take the normal route.  With some fluids, to reduce her fever, and force feeding she started showing improvement within a few days and by yesterday she was more active and walking and eating normally.   I can only hope this incident won’t have long term ramifications for Cagney.  It’s to be expected to lose older cats, but it’s devastating for me to lose a kitten.  So much potential never realized. 

The one bright spot this past week was seeing the road company of HAIR at the Bob Carr.  OMGoddess!  This show has been such a big part of my life since college.  I played and played and played the soundtrack to the Broadway play in my dorm room.  I saw the road show at the Coconut Grove Playhouse in 1970.  Yes, I tend to be “a bit” obsessive and HAIR has been an ongoing obsession.  And, if you aren’t familiar with it or haven’t seen it, please DO NOT see the movie.  It’s a complete bastardization of the original play.  If the road show is coming to a town near you, run – do not walk – and buy a ticket.  You won’t regret it.  Most of the road show company has been a part of this play since its revival on Broadway a few years ago and the London company following its run on Broadway.  Although the play dates back to 1967 and is about the Viet Nam war, it is still relevant today.  Some things stay the same:  calls for peace, freedom & clean air. 

PEACE

Life with a kitten

Cagney is getting bored in my bathroom.  She really wants someone to play with.  While the dogs and other cats were eating tonight, she was in the bathroom SCREAMING.  Please release me, now!  When everyone was done and the dogs had licked the cat bowls clean, I put the dogs outside.  I then opened the bathroom door, and out Cagney dashed.  FREEDOM.  

Chow-Li, my gorgeous, but gigantic, long-haired Siamese mix was  lounging on the other side of the wrought iron gate between the living room and the hallway.  Cagney proceeded through the gate and started swatting Chow-Li.  I cannot begin to describe the ensuing “play/fight” session, but I’m going to try. 

Chow-Li  is easily 10 times the size of Cagney, however that did not deter Cagney from going on the offensive.  Cagney batted Chow-Li’s paws and Chow-Li returned the attack.  She kept her claws sheathed.  She rolled onto her side and Cagney tried to bite her tummy.  Chow-Li rolled back onto her stomach and Cagney swiped at Chow-Li’s face.  After several thrusts and parries, much like sword play, Chow-Li finally put her front paw on Cagney’s head (her paw being the size of Cagney’s head) and pinned her to the ground.  That didn’t stop Cagney.  She escaped the paw and ran behind the nearby bins.  She apparently decided on a sneak attack and approached from the rear, thinking she would catch Chow-Li off guard.  It didn’t work.  Chow-Li turned around and continued the play.  All I could do was stand there and watch the exchange, finding myself laughing out loud at times.  It was, seriously, such a cute and funny spectacle.  There is nothing like a kitten to make me smile. 

The dogs were barking to come inside, so I had to track Cagney down.  She had stopped the play and decided to venture further into the living room.  New territory to discover, other cats to bother.  They, however, weren’t interested in having anything to do with her.  I didn’t see her at first, so I called her name.  Don’t let anyone tell you that cats don’t know their name – she came running out of her hiding place and raced back into the hallway.  I managed to corner her and put her back into the bathroom.  I can’t wait until she’s a bit bigger and I won’t worry about her being around the dogs.  At this point my concern is that they won’t understand that she’s nothing more than a smaller version of the very same cats they ignore day in and day out.  When that day arrives, she’ll have all the company she could want and I’ll be able to reclaim my bathroom and clean it up.  For such a teeny thing, she can certainly make a mess.

As requested..............pictures of Cagney

I took Charlie back to the vet on Friday and brought Cagney with us.  She has gained 6 ounces since Saturday.  She also likes to sit on shoulders.  So here are the pictures taken by one of the folks at the vet's office.

Isn't she adorable?

 Charlie had finally gained some weight, although not much - 3.5 ounces.  He has a raging herpes infection in both eyes so - yay! - not so much - even more daily meds for him.

I thought I'd found a home for Cagney with my assistant and his girlfriend.  Both of them fell in love with her.  Why not?  She's adorable.  Unfortunately, their cat Bella wanted nothing - but bloodletting - to do with Cagney.  So, Cagney just came back to me a few minutes ago.  Que sera, sera, whatever will be, will be......