Monday, January 9, 2012

Casey


In 1971, I turned 21 and was old enough to drink and vote.  Not at the same time, mind you, but for people of my age, 2 of the most important things ever to happen in our lives.  Little did I know that in June of that year something that would forever change my life would happen.

From the day I was born my family always had animals -a dog, a parakeet, a turtle, a bunny and even fish.  I never had a cat because my father DID NOT like cats.  He considered them “dirty animals.”  When I was 14 my mother took our boxer Cherie, who was 2 years younger than me, to the vet and had her put to sleep.  Cherie had cancer.  When I arrived home from school, the deed had already been done.  I never got a chance to say goodbye to her.  I was devastated.  On February 16th, 1965 I went into the bedroom to wake up my father to take me to school and found him dead.  My father had been the center of my universe and he was gone.  My mother and older brother fell apart.  I was forced to be the adult in the home.  The loss of my father was a pivotal moment in my young life.  But, unbelievably to me,  something and someone even more pivotal  would be entering my life.

It wasn’t until the summer of 1968 that my mother got me a cat.  Chara Amani was a beautiful seal point Siamese kitten.  In October of that year, I left for college in Orlando.  By the time I returned for Christmas break, Chara was obviously my mother’s cat.  I lived on campus and couldn’t have “a pet”.  By the summer of 1971, home from college, I desperately wanted a blue point Siamese cat of my own.  One of my mother’s co-workers had rescued a blue point Siamese from outside a restaurant she and her husband visited.  This kitty was pregnant when rescued and in early May she gave birth to 2 kittens.  We went to her home to see the kittens.  I was so disappointed because neither of the kittens was Siamese.  Despite that fact, I chose the 5 week old boy, a gray and white tuxedo.  I named him Casey.  He rode home on my lap. 

Chara and our white boxer, Clipper, accepted Casey immediately.  Casey was a delight and so very smart and loving from the very beginning.  When not much more than 3 months old he decided he wanted to be held.  He leaped up to me, only making it as far as my stomach as I stood in front of him.  I looked down and he was hanging by one claw from my stomach.  Once bigger and stronger, he would leap from the floor into my arms.  He did this all his life, and amazed everyone who saw him do it.  He was fearless and like no other animal I had ever had in my life.  He had a mind of his own.  From him I learned what it was like to have a relationship with an animal that overcame the species barrier.  I wasn’t his “master” and he my “pet.”  He viewed me as his equal, a peer. 

When I went back to school, I lived off campus and took him with me.  He astounded me by opening any closed door.  It didn’t matter whether it opened away from him or toward him.  He would leap up, wrap his paws around the door knob (he knew that it required the door knob to be turned to open the door) and shift his weight backwards to cause the door to open toward him.  He’d then drop to the floor and use his paw to open the door wide enough to go inside.  He taught himself to fetch, just like a dog.  Unfortunately, he preferred the more expensive natural bristle makeup brushes to the cheaper sponge applicators.  And, I tried repeatedly to substitute the sponge brushes.  He finally got me trained – I let him have the brushes he wanted.  He would also fetch Hartz Mountain balls with bells inside.  Of course, they could only be the ones that were like a small cage all the way around.  He wouldn’t fetch the ones that were solid plastic on one half and “caged” on the other.  He would pick up the ball in his mouth and carry it back to me to throw over and over again.  I can’t tell you how many friends he would entertain by fetching.  The friends didn’t believe me until they witnessed it for themselves.  I never had to rely on an alarm clock to wake up.  Shortly before the alarm was set to go off, he would lie on my chest and stare at me.  If that didn’t work, he’d nip my nose.  If that didn’t work, he would repeatedly jump back and forth through the Venetian blinds until the annoying sound finally made me get out of bed. 

The biggest impact Casey had on my life was in 1988.  That was the year that South Korea hosted the Summer Olympics.  At that time ABC was the official U.S. network to televise the Olympic Games.  As a lead up to the games, ABC ran a special about Korea.  I was so disturbed as they showed the markets where cats and dogs were sold as food.  Live dogs and cats were shown with wires tying their legs behind their backs.  The dogs had empty aluminum cans fitted over their muzzles, likely to keep them from crying, barking or biting the vendors.  I could not believe that anyone would eat “pets.”  I was enraged, especially when the narrator told that cats were boiled alive.  Cats?  The most wonderful animals on the planet?  That someone could possibly do something like that to my Casey, to any cat?  I was enraged.  It was the first time in my life that I felt hatred for an entire group of people.  But, hatred just wasn’t in me.  What came next to mind was an epiphany for me.

The Korean culture views dogs and cats as food.  That certainly was foreign to me as an American.  We shared our homes, our beds, our lives with these beings.  We loved them.  They were family, friends.   Our culture, on the other hand, viewed cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, lambs, fish, even rabbits as food.  How could I, in good conscience, object to the culture of another country without examining our culture.  In that moment, I became a vegetarian.  To be able to criticize the customs of one culture without being a hypocrite I would have to reject our culture of eating the flesh of any animal.  The thought of anyone eating Casey or any of his relatives appalled me.  But weren’t the lives of cows, pigs, chickens, turkeys, lambs, fish and rabbits just as valuable?  Of course they were and are.  Casey and the love that I had for him opened my eyes and changed my view of the world and transformed my lifetime love of animals into a respect for the lives of all non-human animals. 

On January 10, 2012, Casey will have been gone for 22 years.  I have lost numerous cats and dogs since that time.  Both of my parents are gone, as is my older brother.  Despite that, the loss of my beloved Casey was the greatest loss I have ever suffered.  I miss him as much today as I did the day that I had to euthanize him.  He was 18 ½ years old.  Not only did I stop eating the flesh of animals, but I have rescued many, many cats and dogs since 1990.  Casey helped me realize just how precious each life is and every animal deserves to live in an optimal environment and to realize the full potential of their own individual personality.  Each of them has a distinct personality, no different from each human.  They deserve a chance to experience joy and share joy with another who loves them, someone who will care for them, will protect them and make them a part of their life.  Although Casey is gone, he remains a part of me and I am forever grateful to have had him in my life.  I am a better person because of his love. 

12 comments:

  1. I don't like reminded of what other countries do to animals, so awful. You're right though, we do bad things here also. Sounds like you had a lot of tragedy as a young person. That's so rough to find your dad dead as a child. You turned out good, a kind and loving person, who cares about just about everything. Bless Casey's dear memory.

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  2. Jody, so many children have tough, sad, even tragic lives. Compared to the majority - even compared to all that you've been through - I think I was pretty fortunate. I think that those of us who have experienced deep pain and/or loss are more able to also experience empathy with others. And, in my book, empathy is the best of emotions. I think that's what drives you to work so hard for the "undercats".

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  3. you were very fortunate to have had Casey in your life, as was he to have you. Your description would fit my Zeke. I'm having a crisis of conscience right now, because my son wants to take Zeke to his new apartment.... away from me. Sonny boy is regaling his friends with the story of how I laughed merrily when he told me he was moving out, but I cried when he said he was taking Zeke. . My best beloved with a west highland white terrier named Tavi. For 19 years through thick and thin, Tavi supported me and picked up the pieces when I fell apart. I miss him terribly. Funny how the little furry beasts worm their way into your heart. Beautiful essay. Brought tears of remembrance, thank you.

    HT

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  4. HT - we're fortunate when we experience the true love of another, regardless of species. A non-human animal doesn't judge or criticize us and loves us regardless of our flaws. Hey, tell your son he is supposed to move out - that's what adulthood is all about. But our animals remain our kids throughout their lives. They rely upon us to take care of them, do their shopping for them and chauffeur them to their doctor. Maybe your son, once he's settled, could save the life of another animal - waiting for him at a local shelter. Hugs & smiles - our memories can make us smile.

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  5. Connie, I would love to tell him he can't have Zeke, but Zeke thinks otherwise. He's been despondent since Ryguy moved out. I cannot refuse the wishes of my furry friend, and he wants to be with Ryguy, much to my dismay. Ryguy's roommate has pythons that eat bunnies. Zeke is a very nosy guy. Recipe for disaster, although Ry assures me there won't be a problem. If there is, and Zeke is hurt then Ry is out of the will. Mind you, Zeke will be happy to get away from Milly the wonder dog, who happens to be in a perpetual state of puppyhood. Milly, on the other hand will miss Zeke terribly - the other cats ignore her, so no fun there. Wow, I rarely talk about my life with my beloveds and here I am blathering all over the place. BTW, Milly is a rescue, as are the three cats. I wish more people would step up and adopt.

    HT.

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  6. This is a safe place to talk about your cats, dogs, etc. Someplaces, even with the closest of friends, not so safe I've learned. In fact, when I was grieving over Casey's death one of my best friends said, "He's only a cat - get over it." We have long since gone our separate ways.

    While I truly love snakes, I don't believe they belong in homes. To me, most people cannot take decent care of either a cat or dog, even though they've been domesticated for thousands of years. A snake requires specialized care & a proper habitat. Many people get them because they are "cool" and then the snakes either slowly die due to improper care or, as so many in Florida have done, they are released into "the wild." Pythons/boas are transforming the Everglades & it's now legal to hunt & kill them.

    Maybe Zeke could stay with "grandma" on the weekends???

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  7. "He's only a cat, get over it"? Some friend. I had to euthanize my beloved Dinah last year after 18 years of friendship. The vet was in tears. When I had to euthanize my beloved Holmes - the vet was in tears (I was a sobbing mess) People who say "he's only a......" have never truly loved anything or anybody. Just my opinion of course.
    Zeke will do as he has always done - go his own way. I love that darned cat but he is a force of nature and the heart wants what the heart wants. If that bleeping snake eats him RYguy could find that he lost a mother and found an avenging cat angel.

    HT

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  8. I read this last night, and didn't comment because I was too busy crying. I was gonna re-read it, but honestly, I don't think I can take it.

    I feel truly sorry for people who have never had the experience if really connecting with an animal. They have so much to teach us. I know this sounds crazy, but in my experience, animals tend to display much more "humanity" than most of the people I have known.

    You are so fortunate to have had such an amazing friend in Casey. And I really do believe that while the life may end, we get to keep the love forever.

    I'm gonna go hug my babies now...

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  9. HT - thought Zeke was a dog. May he be safe & enjoy being with your son.

    ECL - yep, those who haven't been deeply touched by the love & true companionship of an animal have missed out. They give so much more than they get - they enrich our lives and increase our capacity to love. They really do teach us so much, especially about what's important in life and how precious life really is.

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  10. Connie, thank you for this wonderful post! I have gotten pieces of your Casey story here and there from your comments on my blog, but it was great to get the whole story here, and to read about your incredible journey together. I do remember you at one point mentioning his age when he died, but I didn't really put it together how long you two had been together before reading this...amazing! That is such a long time together. I can't imagine how devastated you must have been to lose him. And what an amazing cat he was! Such a smart and charming character. He sounds truly special and it is clear you had a transcendent bond. And I just love that he helped you make that connection to all other animals - that leap that so many people who love their cats and dogs just never make, for reasons that elude me. I think it's beautiful that you still miss him and think of him every day, even after 22 years! and I love that he will always remain special to you no matter how many other animals you rescue and save. As you know from my blog, I never planned to adopt again after Alec died, but Teagan has brought so much joy back into my life and has helped me continue to heal in immeasurable ways from the gaping wound in my soul that was created when he Alec left. Your relationship with Casey (which obviously continues despite his absence) is very inspiring. Thank you for sharing!

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  11. Nicole - I've told you before that you have been an inspiration to me. As I read your blogs I could relate to your bond with Alec because of mine with Casey. I could fully understand what you were going through and admire that you put so much of yourself out there. Just further proof of your immense compassion, love and ability to share. Of course that is also why I hoped so strongly that you would finally find it in yourself to share that capacity to love that you have. And now, if not for Teagan? She has not only helped to mend your heart but she has saved your life. For that all of us - even long distance "friends" - are so grateful. Give that girl a kiss and hug for me.

    Until each animal is recognized as the special, unique individual that each of them are and should have the chance to be.

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  12. Very well-put, Connie. One can't rationalize his or her own animal consumption while criticizing another's.

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